The Watchful Gate

There are many contemplative practices which allow one to simply dwell in a "natural" uncontrived state of mind. These practices can even be found in "Christian" contexts. However, when a person experiences profound repentance and a spiritual awakening which is based on seeking union with Christ, such repentance often leads to a unique experience of grace, an overshadowing of God's presence which exceeds all expectations, and is not simply a fruit of any type of practice. As one pursues a path revealed by this experience of grace, it may disappear from time to time, etiher because one has turned away into sin from carelessness, or one is temporarily left without the sense of grace by the action of God, in order for the person to mature spiritually. When this happens, the person may experience a certain degree of peace or stilness (if sin is not the cause), which will seem to mimic what is experienced in various forms of "natural" contemplation (If one has turned away from God due to various forms of carelessness, one may also  experience a type of listlessness). It will be apparent that these moments of "natural contemplation", even when accompanied by profound peace and stillness no longer fulfill a person's ultimate spiritual longing, if they have tasted of divine grace. As St. Theophan notes, it is now accompanied by an ache which cannot be soothed by any natural state, but only by the return of the experience of grace.

 -- As soon as you turn away  however slightly  from God, and no longer place your trust in Him, things go awry; for then the Lord withdraws, as though saying, You have put your trust in something else - very well, rely on that instead. And whatever it may be it proves utterly worthless.

-- You see how cold it is without grace, and how listless and inert the soul is towards anything spiritual. This is the state of good pagans, of Jews faithful to the Law, and of Christians who lead blameless lives but do not think about their inner life and its relation to God. Yet they do not feel an ache like yours, because (unlike you) they know nothing of the effects of grace. Since from time to time it falls to their lot to experience a kind of spiritual consolation,  natural, not grace-given,  they remain at peace.

What keeps grace in the soul more than anything else? Humility. What makes it withdraw more than anything else? Feelings of pride, a high opinion of oneself, self-reliance. Grace departs as soon as it senses this evil stench of inner pride.

From "The Art of Prayer: An Orthodox Anthology," (London: Faber & Faber, 1966), pp. 257 - 261 (St. Theophan the Recluse)